Lazy mornings
Heartfelt conversations
Laughs
Tickles
Kisses
Vulnerability
Safety
Impossible
Possible
Why would you write to me?
Why would you want me to fall for all of your words?
Why would you want me to be around you if you are unsure?
Manipulation
Deceit
Words
Not Actions
Heart breaking
Feeling my soul break into pieces
I feel the molds starting to break, letting my brokenness slip out after I spent years seemingly raking my pieces together.
All the years spent putting myself together for it to come undone
Dressed in a bow,
That you carefully and slowly kept pulling at it
Until
Finally
All untied
Blindly following you
Wanting nothing more than to call you mine
At all costs
Even my own health
How could you do that to me?
Pull me into your life and then play with my feelings
Because you were unsure of yours
I spent many years battling my traumas
To only have you introduce a level of trauma I have never experienced before.
Is it too far gone?
I only see mountains upon mountains
Impossible
Possible
Mountains too big and tall and steep to climb.
What is the purpose?
I am so scared of making the wrong decision.
If I walk away, I don’t think I will ever find someone else like you
That makes me feel like you do
That compliments me how you do
But this time around,
We have just argued more and more and more
Why?
To push me away?
To get what you want?
To go to others?
I’ve heard a thousand rings
A thousand clicks
My heart wants to beat right out of my chest
This is it I thought
The moment we break up for good
The moment you chose someone else over me
Walking away you said nothing
I knew
Knew you’d be with her
You cannot stay away
Your words not mine
I wanted to grab my shit and walk away from you for good
Oh, so you think I’m only here for playing
Am I toy?
I must be
Impossible
Possible
-Bella
