Impossible, Possible

Lazy mornings

Heartfelt conversations

Laughs 

Tickles

Kisses

Vulnerability

Safety

 

Impossible

Possible

 

Why would you write to me?

Why would you want me to fall for all of your words?

Why would you want me to be around you if you are unsure?

 

Manipulation

Deceit

Words

Not Actions

 

Heart breaking

Feeling my soul break into pieces

I feel the molds starting to break, letting my brokenness slip out after I spent years seemingly raking my pieces together. 

All the years spent putting myself together for it to come undone

Dressed in a bow,

That you carefully and slowly kept pulling at it 

Until

Finally

All untied 

Blindly following you

Wanting nothing more than to call you mine

At all costs

Even my own health 

 

How could you do that to me?

Pull me into your life and then play with my feelings

Because you were unsure of yours

I spent many years battling my traumas

To only have you introduce a level of trauma I have never experienced before.

Is it too far gone?

I only see mountains upon mountains

 

Impossible 

Possible

 

Mountains too big and tall and steep to climb. 

What is the purpose?

I am so scared of making the wrong decision.

If I walk away, I don’t think I will ever find someone else like you

That makes me feel like you do 

That compliments me how you do 

 

But this time around,

We have just argued more and more and more

Why?

To push me away?

To get what you want?

 To go to others?

 

I’ve heard a thousand rings

A thousand clicks

My heart wants to beat right out of my chest

This is it I thought

The moment we break up for good

The moment you chose someone else over me 

 

Walking away you said nothing

I knew

Knew you’d be with her

You cannot stay away

Your words not mine

I wanted to grab my shit and walk away from you for good

Oh, so you think I’m only here for playing

Am I toy?

I must be

 

Impossible 

Possible

 

-Bella